Improve your Resilience

Norfolk Life Coach
May 8, 2019
3 min read

‘Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient’ Quote by Steve Maraboli (Life coach)

But how can we build our resilience and why is it so important?

There are always times in our lives when we feel we really cannot continue on the path we are following. Maybe we are struggling to work with certain colleagues, feeling that they are wearing us down with their negativity, or we are stressed over a piece of work we need to complete. Perhaps we are having problems communicating with members of our family?

Times like these make us question ourselves. ‘Is it me?’, ‘Should I change my behaviour?’ ‘I need a break.’ And actually…you probably do!

Research shows that people who have regular tea breaks and holidays are less likely to burn out than those who soldier on and burn the candle at both ends.

I believe we need to start by improving our self - awareness. We need to be clear about our own strengths, both intrinsic and extrinsic. I feel good when I have had a good night’s sleep, the sun is shining and the tasks in front of me are not too challenging. If I have had some recent success my self - esteem is high and if I have an interesting project ahead of me… I feel excited.

I know that I do not feel as energised in the winter when it is cold and dark and I know that I get bored easily with mundane tasks. I also am aware that I sometimes overthink things and that if people’s comments are negative I can find this hurtful.

When I am feeling emotionally strong I can deal with almost anything, but when I am tired, have a constant battle to fight and I am feeling stressed, then an event which I can usually cope with can be the final straw!

It can be likened to rowing along a river in a rowing boat…on a day when you feel buoyant and positive, your boat may knock into a rock on the riverbed, but you just push your way past it. You have lots of positive energy holding you up.

But another day you may feel bogged down by stress, you have just had a huge gas bill come in and your car is not running well. Your office is relocating and your son is ill. Your boat is not as buoyant today and you cannot get over that rock.

Idea for today: Think about what makes you strong?

Stop for a moment now, grab a piece of paper and make a list of your intrinsic, personal strengths. Are you determined, creative, enthusiastic, caring, hard working?

What else?

What are the positive extrinsic, elements of your life? Do you have a well-paid job, do you have supportive friends and family, do you have a range of hobbies and a home?

Now think about what pulls you down? Do you suffer from insomnia? Do you find your job stressful? Are your finances difficult at the moment? Does the weather play a part in your well- being?

We can change some parts of our life and take control and others we need to put together strategies to enable us to cope. For example, I know that if I sign up for a night class in January I am not going to achieve the best from it, but if I wait until April, I will be much more successful. Why? Because I know the cold, dark weather has a negative impact on me and there is nothing I can do to change that. So unless I move to a different country I need to organise my life to take the climate into consideration!

If you take this time to think about yourself you can use this knowledge to build your resilience. Overtime as you have more experience of the ‘ups and downs’ in your life you will become more self - aware and understand that even when times are tough you have it within you to carry on. You can build in other methods of support such as meditation and mindfulness to further strengthen your resilience and we will look at these in future blogs.

The positive message is that we can all build our resilience and by doing so we can achieve so much more!